She’s hunched at her dining table at midnight, screen glare in her glasses, eyes fixed on a half-filled habit-tracking spreadsheet. This is week five of “New Year, New Me.” Another box in the “done” column, empty. Outside, it’s silent. Inside, frustration boils. Why can’t I just stick with it? She blames herself, again. Most of us do.
Stat to chew on: 92% of people don’t keep their resolutions. Not because they’re lazy, not because they lack “willpower.” But that’s the story, isn’t it? That grit wins. That if you just want it badly enough, you’ll push through. Yet for nearly all of us, motivation vanishes exactly when it’s supposed to show up.
Here’s the unpopular truth: behavior change isn’t about force. Science says it’s not an internal shortcoming. It’s structure, outside, not (just) inside. The most useful model I know is called COM-B. Behavior changes when three things line up: Capability (can you do it?), Opportunity (is your environment set up to help?), Motivation (do you even want it?). Motivation gets all the fanfare, but ask any researcher, it’s the flakiest of the trio.
Structure Over Willpower
Picture a client I worked with, let’s call him Jens. Senior product manager, former marathoner, now working late into most nights. “I just need to be more disciplined,” he said, jotting goals into slick apps, journaling, even trying cold showers. It didn’t stick. Then one week, fed up, he charged his phone outside the bedroom. He made his desk face the window, not the wall. All of a sudden, his screens stayed off after 10 p.m. He made it to morning runs twice a week. Nothing cosmic. Just micro-adjustments to his surroundings.
If this sounds absurdly simple, good. Unsentimental fact: opportunity (your environment) drives follow-through more reliably than pep talks or streak counters. Take your home, running shoes by the door, fruit washed and ready, lights set to cue wind-down at night. At work, declutter your desk, block out calendar time for deep projects, agree with your team to actually take lunch. It adds up. Willpower is real, but it’s more like a battery than a miracle. If you burn it white-knuckling your way through junky systems, you’ll crash by Thursday, if not sooner.
Make Change Frictionless
Take five minutes. Scan your routines. Where’s the friction? What is one thing you can shift right now to help your future self trip over a win, not a hurdle? Don’t download a new app. Don’t announce fresh rules to yourself. Change one physical thing about your morning, set up your coffee, pick your outfit, move your charger. Then ask: “Where am I making things harder than they need to be?”
You do not need to fight yourself every morning. Architect your environment like it matters, because it does. Picture your life if you stopped chasing that elusive motivational high and started shaping the space around you as if your habits depended on it. Because they do.
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Valentin
